Voices en Español

I used to be a “lo siento” junkie when I first came to Spain. Lo siento when I wanted to leave the Metro, lo siento when I stepped on somebody’s foot, lo siento when I wanted somebody to pass me a plate or a glass. The list goes on. I definitely was using “lo siento” way too much.

But there is more to la disculpa (i.e. apologizing) than lo siento in Spanish. While we learn that “lo siento” is Spanish for “Sorry” or “I’m sorry”, it isn’t always used exactly the same way as its English equivalent. In fact, there are times in which saying “lo siento” can seem rather excessive.

After the jump are some phrases I’ve used to kick my lo siento habit. I’m still in recovery but having a wider arsenal of phrases helps. Consider this a quick and dirty basic guide to navigating the shoals of remorse in Spanish.

Photo: I’m sorry by Jodi C, used with permission

When it comes to la disculpa, there are basically two categories: the small, everyday occurences in which you’re asking someone to excuse your behavior and then the big, life-changing ones where what you’re really doing is asking for forgiveness or trying to empathize.

Category I: Excuse me

Use the following terms when you want to excuse yourself or your behavior for simple, basic everyday type stuff. For example, accidentally bumping into somebody, dropping something, interrupting somebody. Basically you did something by accident or made a small mistake or caused a minor incident, etc. There’s been a small, momentary transgression of some sort between you and another person and you need to find a way to reestablish the equilibrium. You can use any of the following terms or phrases to do that:

Perdón
Disculpa [informal tú] or Disculpe [formal usted]
Ha sido sin querer (It was an accident)

Pretty easy, huh? Of course there are plenty of other expressions, but these are all you need to get you out of most everyday jams. I’m not saying you can’t use “lo siento” in everyday contexts. Just use it sparingly because it isn’t always necessary.

Category II: I’m sorry

The second category of apologizing is for the heavy stuff. Death, divorce, break-ups, firings, layoffs, huge disappointments, natural and unnatural disasters and other acts of God and men. Basically, you want to empathize and show the emotion or depth of your feelings. You want to express to the other person that you’re feeling their pain. It’s in situations like these that you can bring out the “lo siento,” which literally means “I feel it.”

Here are some variations on that phrase:

Lo siento mucho, lo siento muchísimo
¡Cuánto lo siento!
Lo lamento
No sabes cuánto lo siento/ lo lamento

Crank up the phrases (lo siento or lo lamento) even more by tacking on some additional information.

For example, Lamento lo ocurrido. Siento lo ocurrido. (I regret what happened. I’m sorry about what happened.)

Lo siento, ….
…..no lo he hecho a propósito/adrede/aposta (I didn’t do it on purpose)

….no quería hacerlo (I didn’t mean to do it.)

…..no sé qué decir (I don’t know what to say)

…..no volverá a repetirse (It won’t happen again)

…..no pretendía ofenderte (I wasn’t trying to offend you)

….estoy realmente avergonzado(avergonzada) (I’m so embarassed)

This entry has gotten very long, so ¡disculpadme! Ha sido sin querer. I’ll be back another day with an entry about accepting apologies. ¡Hasta luego!