Comments on: Mind if I tutear?

By: eleena

eleena — Sat, 01 May 2010 20:03:30 +0000

Hi Pilli,
Regarding your question about the use of the “tú” form with an older friend, just ask them if they mind. Unless the person is significantly much older than you or in a position of authority above you, they probably won’t mind, especially if you are good friends. In fact, some older people like it when younger people use “tú” with them. All just depends on the people involved and the relationship.

By: PIlli

PIlli — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:23:41 +0000

Good article- I think saying ‘usted’ for respect, even toward youngers is good, but using it properly is a struggle because what if you have a close (familiar) friend who is older than you? I wish spanish was clearer with rules like that.

By: eleena

eleena — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 21:11:15 +0000

Will, te dejo el enlace de la versión española de este post. No es el mismo artículo pero se trata del mismo asunto.
http://spanish-podcast.com/es/2007/12/19/voseo/

Si te gustaría escribir una entrada para este blog en español de cualquier tema, me encantaría publicarla. Mandame un mensaje privado aquí si te apetece. Saludos.

By: Will

Will — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:51:08 +0000

¿Porque no escribes este blog en español si quieres respuestas desde hispanohablantes natales?

By: eleena

eleena — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 01:39:34 +0000

Tad,
No, you’re right. Usted is used with family in Colombia and I’ve also heard that in Chile mothers use the usted form with their young children as well. (Any Chilenos out there reading this blog who can weigh in, please?) I was thrown by that when I saw the excellent Colombian movie “Maria, Full of Grace.” There’s a scene where Maria is talking (arguing) with her younger brother AND her mother in the kitchen and everyone is using the usted form of the verbs. It was so hard for me to follow the conversation in that scene because they were talking rapidly and using the third-person singular. Who was Maria talking to and talking about? Her mother, her brother? Somebody not in the room at the time?

By: tad

tad — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:57:14 +0000

Of course I have no way of knowing if they are 5 weird Colombians or not

By: tad

tad — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:54:04 +0000

In Colombia always use usted; they use it even with members of their own family, at least, with the 5 I have working with me. There is an Ecuadorian that finds it all really annoying there -why don’t you tutear? -we’re just used to usted is the reply.

By: eleena

eleena — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:34:42 +0000

David,
Thanks your comment. Yes, you’re right. My rule of thumb…when in doubt, always better to be more formal than too informal. When you start from a level of formality, it’s easier to relax once the expectations are clear. But it’s harder to recover from a gaffe or an unintended slight if you start off too informally. The hard thing for me now is that I find it very difficult to address people with “usted”, for example in restaurants or at the airport. It just seems so stuffy to me, because of my indoctrination in Spain. But in the U.S. and Latin America, “usted” is the normal way of speaking in everyday contexts with random strangers.

By: David

David — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 22:46:00 +0000

Interesting post. As you progress with learning Spanish, you also pick up the cultural information you need to know when to use usted and when to use tu. It’s not always crystal clear, but then neither is it for native speakers. I’ve talked in depth about this with native Spanish speakers, and often they have tactics for avoiding the use of either tu or usted for the first few minutes of conversation, so they can make a decision as to which form to use.